Can Christians disagree? 

By Karen McNary, Director of Global Cultural Engagement and Community 

Several years ago, I came across a saying:  

“To live above with saints we love, oh that would be glory. To live below with saints we know, well that’s another story.”    

Living with the saints can be hard. Selfishness. Pride. Division. Even believers struggle to find common ground with one another. 

Conflict among God’s people is not isolated to one culture or even one historical era. Jesus himself was born into an extremely complex culture. Israel was under Roman rule, overburdened by taxes and restricted in religious liberties. Some Israelites, including the Zealots, expected a military-style Messiah to restore Israel’s autonomy by force. As politics divided God’s people, religious leaders varied in their interpretation of God’s Word.   

But instead of just stepping into the fray, Christ invited people to rise above it. At the core of His ministry, He intentionally called 12 men with radically different backgrounds and temperaments. Instead of fitting into the world around Him, Jesus built a new community based on God’s Word and His ministry. And He called it the Kingdom of God. 

In this community, the disciples were invited to learn together and participate with Him in sharing the good news of the gospel.  They were united in their call to follow Jesus, but not always from the same perspective, as we’ll see in our upcoming Matthew study. 

The same can be true for believers today. We answer the call to follow Jesus the same way – by grace through faith. Like the disciples, we bring our personalities, experiences, and worldviews into gospel community. We will likely find ourselves studying and serving in community with people who are very different from one another. And if we are honest, that community is not always comfortable. 

Through Jesus’ relationship with the disciples, we learn some key practices in loving one another amid our differences.  

In the cultural chaos of His day, Jesus spoke life-changing truths.  

How can we respond when we disagree? 

In Jesus’ time, as today, some teachings were just hard to understand. For instance, what did Jesus really mean when He said, “Follow me; and let the dead bury their own dead?” Some people read this literally, others figuratively.  

Or how about Jesus’ lessons in Matthew 13? These simple stories with deep spiritual truths prompted the disciples to ask, “Why do you speak to the people in parables?” Like the disciples, we are free to bring our questions before the Lord.  

Jesus’ response to their question in Matthew 13:11 is eye-opening. “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.”  

Jesus tells us that truth is revealed to each of us at different times and in different seasons. With this in mind, we can meet our brothers and sisters in Christ with grace as we trust the Lord to reveal truth in His time. There is room for differences of opinion when Christ is our foundation. We don’t have to carry the burden of argument or debate. Instead, we can pray, discuss and enjoy one another as God completes His unique work in His people. 

What can we do with confusion or disappointment? 

We each enter Christian community with expectations. We expect others to act, think, speak, and relate to us in a certain way. When our expectations aren’t met, it can lead to disappointment, discouragement, even doubt. We may question if we’re in the right place with the right people. 

In Matthew 11, we learn a valuable lesson from John the Baptist. While imprisoned, John sent word asking Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”  I’m sure neither he nor his followers expected a prison stay for John the Baptist. In fact, they probably expected Jesus to release him miraculously.    

Like John, we, too, can bring our questions and disappointments to Jesus. But we are called to hold our expectations loosely. God often answers in unexpected ways. When we humble our hearts before the Lord, we must be willing to listen to how He answers, whether He meets our expectations or not.  

What does Jesus expect of us? 

The Sermon on the Mount, which contains “the Beatitudes,” details how gospel community should work. Here we learn that Jesus is more concerned about heart transformation than He is about behavior modification, like when Jesus says, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” 

Ultimately, through Christ’s forgiveness on the cross, we have the power to forgive one another. Conflict is inevitable. Opinions will differ. But when we are rooted in the gospel, we are united in purpose.  

In His final words to the disciples in Matthew 28:19-20, Jesus said, “Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” 

Through these words, Christ built His Church when 12 men set aside their differences to pursue a common call. Think about that: God changed the course of human history through 12 people who humbly united around His plan and will. 

As you study Matthew in community, will you take time to pray for your new BSF group? Like the disciples who were called to follow Christ, each member of your group has responded to God’s prompting to study His Word within BSF this year. If we commit to learn from our differences and unite in our common call, we can expect God’s Word to change our hearts and grow our obedience. While it won’t always be easy, we have one another. Most importantly, we have His presence. In Matthew 28:20 Jesus promised, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Karen McNary

BSF Director of Global Cultural Engagement and Community 

Karen served as a Children’s Leader, Substitute Teaching Leader, Teaching Leader, Area Personnel and most recently as a Skills Coach for BSF prior to joining the staff in April 2021. Sheis originally from Louisville, Ky. and for the past 20 years has called  Charlotte, NC home.  She has been married to her husband, Keith, for  27 years, and together they parent three three young adult sons who attended the BSF School Program for many years.


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  1. Hello brethren! Do you have articles/posts about Ephesians 4 which is also about unity?
    Thank you in advance for your reply and keep safe!

    • Hi Lydia, we don’t! But I’m adding that to our list of possible blog posts. Thank you for sharing!

  2. I’m so glad I took the time to read this article.
    “Opinions will differ. But when we are rooted in the gospel, we are united in purpose.” Love this outlook! Thank you

  3. “Jesus tells us that truth is revealed to each of us at different times and in different seasons. With this in mind, we can meet our brothers and sisters in Christ with grace as we trust the Lord to reveal truth in His time.”

    Love it!!! 🤗💜 Thank you 🙏🏼

  4. This was a good overview of Mathews Gospel and insightful, many thanks

  5. This Blkg is a great Intro t I our Study of Matthew. Thanks so much

  6. thank you for this blog. I am recovering from covid and am grateful for God’s answer to my many friends prayers. God is good. I am looking forward to this study.

  7. I left a question below. My leader claims she has texted me several times, but I only have one where she thanked me for giving her my cell phone #. I had my husband look he found nothing. I asked my leader on week 2 lesson 1to please call me because I had something to share but I wanted her to call me so I could tell her first. She NEVER BOTHERED TO CALL ME. WHAT I had to say was about an answer in lesson 2. I have never experienced this type of people in BSF. I have been going since REVELATIONS.

    • Hi Loy, I am so sorry to hear about the lack of communication you’ve received in your group. We are praying for any misunderstandings that have occurred with your leader. I encourage you to reach out both to your leader and class administrator to go over this situation. If you are not sure who your class administrator is, use our “Find a Group” feature on, find your class by typing in your location and time, and click “Contact.”

  8. So timely!♥️♥️♥️

  9. Dear Karen, thank you for assuring me that I can bring our questions and disappointments to Jesus. I must have been doing that quite often. You are right that God sometimes answers our prayers in unexpected ways – in ways that we don’t like, and often it is after many years that we know His plan was a perfect one. But there was the blaming and anguish in between.

    I always ask in my BSF group that I envy the “wrestling with God” and I want God to speak to me in my dream. some members said that could have happened to me without me realising it. I want to have a closer encounter with God.

    • Thank you Kitty for sharing your ♥️

  10. Thank you.

  11. Thanks so much – this is the very topic I’ve been wrestling with!

  12. This was such a helpful presentation; a needed reminder that we need to not be so quick to judge -other Christians. Give our expectations to God and show grace. Thanks you!

  13. This was just what I needed to hear and be reminded of! Thank you!

  14. Thank you Karen for this timely message. Blessings to you.

  15. Thank you! Such a great reminder to love, to pray, to trust GOD. He placed this person in my path for a reason, and for me it’s usually to grow and change me. He always reminds me to settle on our common ground in Him alone.

    • Good point Karen. There’s always more than what we see.

  16. Thank you Karen. You reminded us that, “nothing is new under the sun”, conflicts and challenges may look different throughout time, but it’s the heart, our hearts, that need to be addressed.

    • Sandy,

      You quoted one of my favorite passages.

      So good to remember!

  17. Thank you for addressing this very real conflict in many of our lives. Some of us feel very convicted in certain areas and others do not. Yet, we all claim to follow Christ. It can be confusing, but we must act in love and forgiveness. Thanks for your encouragement and words of advise.

  18. Thank you for these thoughts Karen. The examples you site in Matthew of people in Jesus’ time having questions and differences of opinion are helpful for us to think about when engaging with fellow followers now. Blessings to you.

  19. Such a timely blog. Our news sources are clogged with very differing opinions on politics, medical issues and religious concerns. As Christians it is sometimes better to put your hand over your mouth than to get embroiled in a discussion or argument that nobody wins and can cause strife between believers. There is not much teaching about personal rights in the Scriptures, but a lot of teaching about taking responsibility for neighbors and brothers and sisters in the Lord.
    Thank you for this blog!

    • You’re so right Meredith…

  20. Is there any BSF group in my area?

    • Hi Carol! We’d love to have you join BSF! You can use the “Find a Group” feature to locate groups in your area. If there are not any in-person classes near you, you can also use this same feature to locate an online group.


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